Good Morning

We woke up together today. Writer and reader are two words that mean the same thing: alive.

Thank you for being my fellow dancer, in this middle school cafeteria. We are all nervous. All scared.

My two year old has an answer, when asked if he is scared. He does a pause, and says "Uhh. A little bit."

Today, my family wakes up scared. Uhh. A little bit.

But we also wake up two years old. We wake up with joy, with excitement for things that are real and that we dont have to hope for. We are excited for a birdfeeder. We are excited for friends that text us and call us and neighbors that wave.

We wake up two years old, today. A little bit scared, sure.

But we see real love, and we are going to let our two year-old lead us through the day. His vision is the purest, the healthiest, the most focused.

Today we listen. Today we will let our two year-old win.

I've never been more excited to lose.

Top News Story Today

You are reading this,  so you want this.  I promise.  This is not a main road. It is your help that paved this humble moment.

Vanessa taught our niece some painting techniques today. By the time she left to get McDonalds, Noah was calling her sissy by mistake.

Except it wasn't a mistake.  Life doesnt require i.d.s, and our birth certificates dont come out of the womb with us.  They are real. But they aren't natural.

A child calling his cousin "sissy" because she's treated him like a brother, every time she's seen him?  That's natural.

There are lessons I learned very late, in my life. They are the ones that I'm most humbled by.

It is so relaxing, to realize how wrong I was. It makes me realize that to worry is arrogant.  Worry presumes a future, which is embarrassingly arrogant, as I look at my life's mirror.  I see a lot of worry looking back.

Worry is not action. Except, it is. It is a brain pattern,  which is absolutely a physical movement.  "Worry is an action" allows us to be less hard on ourselves. 

That doesn't fix everything. But it does make everything better.

No one needs to fix anything right now.  We just need to breathe.

Love is not alone. It has history on its side.

Shoutout cuzzies and the Long Island crew. Shoutout Drews and Zacs. Shoutout the husband's and wives trying. Shoutout the artists searching.  Shoutout the artists translating.

Sometimes surrender is courageous. 

Breathe Air Into Minds

I am finding less and less joy in starting my sentences with the word "I"

We are finding more and more joy in spending time together.

Who could have known that lowering expectations for a day would lead to greater results?

We accomplished none of my goals today, except turning on my pressure washer.  The other 16 hours was spent on puzzles and peeing.

Except that it was filled.  Overflowing with incredible stuff.  Four books in a row before bed.  Full sentences.  Walks around the block that thaw frozen hearts.  Ugga Muggas with sissy and mommy and dada.  Visits from delivery men that bring new stickers.  Stickers that stick on the table.  New animals like antelopes. 

Today I heard a human being say "sloth" for the first time in their life. 

Doesn't it make sense that that's a big deal?  Vanessa and I are getting to witness the birth of a child.  I always thought the "birth of a child" was in a delivery room, at a hospital, and then they cut an umbilical cord and give you a certificate.

But a child is born out over time.  They evolve.  They should make little kids go get sonograms again, just so dads realize that a 2 year-old is still a fetus that needs protection, nourishment, love.  It's not a fetus.  But everyone's a child, right? 

Well, if everyone's a child because they've been a child.  Then everyone's still a fetus.  We need help.  Guidance.  Protection.  We need to be able to develop. 

I looked at a sonogram today.  It was in full color.  Three dimensions.  It sang "Welcome to My House" all day because we sang it together yesterday.  It spent 8 months in a body, and now 33 expanding its footprint, pressing its fingers and toes out, confidently recklessly fearlessly deliberately effortlessly

naturally claiming its place in the womb called life. 

This is not my world anymore.  This is not my blog anymore.  This is the blog someone's dad wrote.

Every time, all those decades, I was navel gazing -- I was looking literally into the whole my first food went into. 

Every time, all these decades, I had my head up my ass -- I was looking literally at all the crap I've produced that gave me no nourishment.

When we look outside.  We become servants, and it drains us.  But its how we live forever.  Its how we survive.  _____

This blog will be unfinished, as I rest peacefully in the ground. 

It's done forever, the same way a dandelion is done

after every seed is blown apart

and somewhere new

Erthe and Skye

Zoetic

Our Daughter Has a Blog

peace through writing.

We are proud of her.

zoeticskye.com

The GOAT

Vanessa has quietly established herself as the best bartender in our town.

The job is underappreciated. It's expected to be an extra role. You're not supposed to feel like you know the bartender. 

Vanessa doesn't care what TV taught you. She is whatever you need, before you know you needed it. And then you're better.

She is helpful with a surgeon's precision. Never too much, but always enough. Like the version of us we all wish we were. 

She cooks and cleans better than the 1950s.

Start Talking Less and Writing More

You say so many beautiful things, but then they just float away. When you write them down, they last forever.

GOAT

Corona: The Grapefruit of Beers

I will text you a clip of me doing this bit