a priori/a posteriori

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Why I Quit Comedy

Read this, except every time you read the word "writing"

replace it with


Thursday, June 11, 2015

InkWell Comedy and Jazz, Chapter 1

I'm avoiding Marshall.

Which is fine.

But also, it's not.
I want to become the comic who is professional.
The comic who meets deadlines.
The comic who is great to work with.

But right now, I spend so much time in my head,
I take 6 months to finish a process that should take a week.
I still have faith in myself.
I still have faith that I am on the path toward professional and artistic autonomy.

I still think I am making the right decisions, and that the bumpy road will end up being the better journey.

But it's tough, to let down friends.
And it's not fair to them.
It's hot, in my apartment today.
An apartment that I want to call my "home"

But it's tough, in New York City.
It's tougher, in Brooklyn.
And right now, it feels like it's the toughest, in Bed-Stuy.

When I moved into this building 4 years ago, apartments were $1650 a month.

The new one's being rented out are going for $2500.

That's a more than 50% rent jump, in four years.

There's very little regulation right now, in terms of rent-control.

So many new people are moving into the city, no one seems to feel justified in becoming politically active, here in the city.

Most of the new residents of these 5 boroughs seem so consumed with surviving in "big, bad, scary New York" (which it hasn't been since about 1991)

and consumed with posting on Instagram that they're "making it"

that no one actually
does anything

to make New York a better place.
I am one of the people I am describing.
Of course I want to be a well-known comedian.  That would make me very happy, because it's been a dream of mine since I was a kid.

It would also be cool if I went to a community meeting once a month, or something like that.  And maybe instead of telling jokes, I could tell my story.

And maybe Bed-Stuy would become a little better place.

Not that it needs me to make it better.  But now that I've barged in and made it worse, it would be cool if I at least tried to balance out some of the cultural damage I'm doing, by connecting with my neighbors, and providing some value to the neighborhood.
So, here's my plan:

I'm going to ask to start an open-mic, at Inkwell Comedy Club, on Bedford Avenue.

I'm a comic, right?

Well, if I'm living in this neighborhood, why don't I offer my skills to my neighborhood.

That feels fair...right?

I'll stop by tonight, and talk to someone there.

And I'll report back tomorrow.

And post by 9:30 am.
I'm scared to release "Fuck the Industry"
I'm also excited to.

Soon enough, excited will win.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

"The Terry Crews of Comedy"

Wed  9:04  AM
June 10, 2015
Apparently, LeBron James is doing cool things again.

Last night was Game 3 of the 2015 NBA Finals.

Keith-at-the-Y said the Cavs won.  Even though Kyrie Irving is out for the rest of the series.  He said LeBron scored like 40.

The Cavs are up 2-1.

I wanted very badly to read about it, or watch highlights, or listen to talk radio about it, or watch a sports channel on television.
Oh.  And apparently a horse won the Triple Crown.

For the first time since 1978.

Seriously!?  This year?

Oh well.  These things happen.
I feel like I'm getting better at basketball.  But I need tests.  I want to be able to know, one way or the other.

Tonight is one of those tests.

For the first time in a year, I have a game in Frank's "BIJ" basketball league.  This was the league that I tried to average a double-double in, last spring.

I'm nervous for tonight's game.
But also, not that nervous.

I don't know if I've gotten better in the past year.
Or if I've gotten stronger.

But I know I've put in some work.

And I know I have a lot more to give.

So no matter how tonight's game goes,
I'm happy with my life, and my choices.
One of the channels I was painfully trying to watch, as I avoided SportsCenter,

was some crappy sitcom with Terry Crews.

Terry Crews, aka the new dad in every Tyler Perry project.
Also, the Old-Spice guy.

He's a former NFL player who has built a career for himself in the entertainment industry.
Why don't more former-entertainers

build careers for themselves

in the athletic industry?
I don't know.

And if the answer is, "Because it's 10 times easier to have a career in entertainment,"

then sweet jesus, I'm going to crush my career, if I ever retire from basketball.
Have a wonderful Wednesday,


Tuesday, June 9, 2015

I Support Joe Mande

I will miss getting to know Joe Mande.

That's one thing I will miss, from not being on social media.  I have a gut feeling that guy is trying his best.

More than a gut feeling.  He and I came up with the same bit, half-a-decade ago.  I had a bunch of friends come up to me at different points, over the course of a 2-year stretch, and gingerly let me know that he might have stolen a bit of mine.

The funny thing is:  he didn't.  I never put the joke online, and we never met in person.  At the time, I don't think we'd ever been in the same city at the same time.

It was just this crazy case of "parallel development," where we both saw the same flaw in this world, and we both had the same reaction to it:

point out the flaw, via a joke.
I saw Joe's Twitter page a few weeks ago.  His "bio" read something like


And it made me smile.  Because even if someone wanted to be negative, and say,

"he's probably just doing that for attention,"

that negativity reminds me a lot of the perfect Bill Hicks bit, about the "righteous indignation dollar"

It's like, "okay...what is he supposed to do?"

The ice caps really are melting (at least, I believe they are)

Twitter follower-counts really are meaningless.  (at least, I believe they are)

So, what is he supposed to do?  Go along with it all?  Act like he doesn't see the long-term flaws in our culture?
For a long time, I think comedians have had a flawed understanding of our role, in society.

Yes, we're comedians.  But we are also comedy fans.  And the more we support the comedians we see doing the coolest things,

the more those comedians are supported, both inside of -- and outside of -- our "industry."

I support Joe Mande.

I hope he keeps trying his best.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

AND she makes mac n' cheese????

Sun  6:35  PM
June 7, 2015
Butterfly made mac n' cheese today.

You either know how big of news that is, or you don't.

If you do, you're celebrating with me.

Because the world is a better place.
Time for push-ups.
; )

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Going for a Walk with my Wife (soon)

Sat  9:54  AM
June 6, 2015
Today is the day that many of my students take their SAT.

For the first time,
I'm not nervous.

I'm not nervous, because I tried my best.

I screwed up a ton of things.  I yelled when I shouldn't have.  I didn't prepare well.  I didn't follow through on promises.  I replied to e-mails late, and sometimes not at all.

But I tried my best.

And I had terrific students, this year.  People who cared, and who wanted to do well.  Students who were too scared to admit it, at times,

but students who cared.

They were interested in themselves, and interested in their own futures.
For high schools, these kids don't graduate until next year.  But for me, they were my Class of 2015.

They will become themselves.

I feel good about the future.

34 Days Straight

Discipline matters.

I owe everything I accomplish to Butterfly Starfish.

I know it's technically

Sat  4:27  AM
June 6, 2015
But I am counting this as my Friday blog.

Because I am only going to bed now.

But that's okay.  And even when this streak ends,
it'll be okay.

It won't be that serious.

But streaks can be fun.

So this one lives on.

Because I say so.

And I like statistics.
Sat  4:30  AM