a priori/a posteriori

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

7. Season 2 Premiere of my web series "GET A DAY JOB"




As I post this, it has 3 views.

At least 2 are mine.

At least.

8. In Case You Missed It: Last Week's Top Story

I've been sneaking around New York City and hopping up on shows, as I promote my new independent stand-up comedy special,

"Fuck the Industry"

At the time of this post, this joke has 9 views.

Thanks to Ian Russo and Super Collider bar, in South Slope, Brooklyn.

Expect a version of this joke in my 3rd special.

Tentatively titled "Sorry, The Industry"

9. The first rule of blogging is: HAVE FUN BLOGGING!

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING!!!

I want so badly, to write about so many things.

But I get in my head.  I get in my own way.  I want everything to be so perfect.  I want it all to...matter.

I have a list of 50 goals, of what I want to have happen with this blog.
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Really, the first rule of _____ (insert anything here) is:  HAVE FUN DOING IT

Because if you don't have fun now, you're never going to.

Hmm.  That feels falsely simplistic.

I take it back.

I don't want some sooty, bloodied anti-hero in some distant dystopian future screaming to the smog-filled, sun-covering skies:

"I HAD FUN KILLING ALL THE CARROTS!!!

BRYSONTURNER.COM SAID TO

Monday, July 27, 2015

10. This Blog is Already Going Viral

This Spring, I re-started this blog.

I had taken 2 years off from blogging -- think of it like Michael Jordan, quitting to play baseball --

and I decided to come out of retirement.
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In a mere 9 more blogs, this blog will "go viral"

I think we've all done the math, haven't we?

The Internet is a game of exponential growth -- and this has been the best thing, for the longest time,
with the least growth.

Until 9 blogs from now.
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(You can laugh again)

This isn't the BEST blog on the internet, it's the best blog that the writer will DEFINITELY respond to your comment

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Blogging is being your own paparazzi and hoping we think you're famous

At least, that's what it's been for me.

My name is Who.  Who Givzaschitt.
me llamo Who.  Who Givzaschitt.

I've been blogging for the better part of a decade now.  Not sure why the world hasn't noticed me yet.

I half-heartedly journal once every 2 months, and then get sad when all my friends don't come and act like I just did some David Blaine shit and made the entire universe

shift at the mere zoom-in-OUT--
inn-OUTTT on my face.

Then I make stupid, childish references to the most underrated sketch group in America,


and expect -- nay, DEMAND -- my few remaining readers think it's funny.
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Oh, and I still think of you as "readers"

I'm an old man

Friday, July 24, 2015

Oh, by the way: I BOMBED my Comic Strip audition

Haha.  If you're rooting for some sort of "redemption" theme to this blog, then...sorry.  This wasn't your month.

My life is amazing right now.  Butterfly and I are busting our asses, trying to get better and better every day.

I think Dragonfly is starting to catch on.  And I'm learning a ton by getting to be around both of them.  I'm pretty much the luckiest dude on the planet, that I've been invited to be a part of their family.  Even as the dreaded (dunh-dun-DUNNH)  step-dad.

We're planning our wedding for November, though Butterfly and I are both completely overwhelmed by the thought of planning it and putting it together.

That's probably more on me, than on her.  Which is fine.  I'm growing, and that's a part of the process.  I love her, and I'm not going anywhere.  So we will go through every step of this process, together.

As long as that is the case, we won't just be fine; we'll be incredible, and we'll keep getting better and better.
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I had my "Comic Strip Live" audition on July 14, 2015.

At the end of their Tuesday night show, they invited 4 comics to do a 3-5 minute set, and the manager would watch.

I went up second, after Eagle DeWitt.  (amazingly, I recorded the first time I ever saw Eagle, in this episode of my aborted web series about how to become a comedian, called "GET A DAY JOB")

Eagle did great.  He's a young comic, and he's becoming a good comic.

1.  Every time I go to a mic or a show, he's there.  And more comfortable than the last time I saw him

2.  He's swinging for the fences with his bits.  During his audition, he told a joke about Obama saying the N-word at the Charleston church massacre funeral -- a joke he clearly wrote recently, and a topic with a fairly high degree of difficulty.

The joke didn't land hard enough for him to blow the manager's mind, but it's easy to tell Eagle is on his way.  He just needs to keep getting onstage.
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I went up next, and once I got onstage, I just couldn't give a crap.

I couldn't give  half-a-crap.

I wanted to.  But it just didn't show up.  I told some jokes half-heartedly, did some direction-less crowd work, and then ended the set early.

The manager was some guy with a scratchy voice, who was surprisingly respectful, after the show.  He sat down with each of us individually, and talked to us honestly.

We agreed my set went horribly, and I headed back out onto 2nd Avenue, to head home to Butterfly.  Before I left, I told Eagle I would see him around soon.
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I'm not sure if I'm breaking "a rule" here, but I feel terrific about the audition.  No matter how it went, I'm out in the scene again, throwing my hat into the ring.

The night before the audition, I had fun sets around town, and recorded a guerilla version of my Biggie joke, as I build up my 3rd special:




And also:  I got to perform at the world famous Comic Strip.

Some of my contemporary comics might scoff at that.  And I know the club has had its issues, these past ten-to-twenty years.

But that's a historic stage.  Period.

Before Tuesday, July 14, 2015 -- I had never performed on it.  Ever.

Now, I have.  And I can say I did, for the rest of my life.

Cool.  Check.  Add it to the resume'
;)
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Next up:  putting out a second special

(how many comics have ever done that?  Five-thousand?  Maybe?)