It’s Monday. June 18, 2012.
It can get really tough, trying to push forward. Because the days bleed into each other. The weeks bleed into each other. It’s just tough to feel like one day matters, in the grand scheme of things.
It does, of course. One day matters, because every day matters. If I didn’t get onstage, one night at a time, then I’d never get onstage.
When you’re thinking about starting comedy, you decide not to get onstage, one night at a time. You decide “tonight isn’t the night,” one night at a time.
That first night is the hardest. But it never really gets easy. It’s as much about routine as anything. Routine and rhythm. January and February, I got into a really great rhythm. It felt easier to just go ahead and do 3 or 4 sets, instead of staying in.
The last week, I didn’t hustle much. I’ve kind of been taking a breath, after I filmed the two nights of shows last weekend. I only did one set Tuesday. I took Wednesday off. I only did one or two sets every other night. I took Sunday off.
So now, I’m starting to get into a rhythm of not doing mics. Which can be dangerous. Or, it can be healthy. The scary thing is how hard it is to tell which one.
I think this lazy stretch isn’t too dangerous. At least not yet. I’m leaving New York on Thursday, to go to my aunt’s wedding, in upstate New York. I’ll spend a few days with my family, and then return to New York after the weekend. My gut is that I’ll take this week pretty easy, take the weekend off, and then get back to work next week.
That’s my gut. But it’s hard to tell when you’re being honest with yourself, and when you’re lying to yourself. I’m getting better at it. But I’m still not perfect.
But this week feels like a week when I’m not going to be hustling much. And I think I just want to acknowledge that to myself, and focus on making this a productive week.
That’s something I hope I’m starting to learn: Just because I’m not getting onstage 80 times in a week, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a great week. Even stand-up wise. I can write, and work, and evolve, in a given week, and then come back a week later, and just hammer out all the ideas that I have. Taking a week off of performing shouldn’t be my norm - but it’s not a death-sentence, either. I can have a great week, even if I’m not in a place where I feel like performing.
It’s all just being honest with myself, to myself. That’s what I continue to try to work on. Why don’t I write a whole blog about that? On stand-up metabolism? Yeah, why not? Cool.
Maybe that’ll help make this a productive week.