a priori/a posteriori

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Year 3, Day 2

Louis CK is my competitor.

That's the uncomfortable reality of being a stand-alone, buy-my-special-on-my-website,

stand-up comedian.
That's me. 

I'm a professional stand-up comedian.

And so I need to find ways to add value to my website.

For a couple years, I had my first stand-up special available on this very website,

It was a great first special, and I'll always be proud of it.

I also am now ready to acknowledge the reality:  it was worth exactly $1048.

And that's pretty damn cool.

It's also not enough to pay my bills.

Which is why I need to start making money again, as a live performer.

That starts tomorrow night, at Pinboys at the Beach.

"Pinboys at the Beach" is a bowling alley, on Laskin Road, here in Virginia Beach.  They have a show there every Monday night, at 9 pm.  I'm going to try to win $25, which is awarded to the best set of the night.  The winner is decided by audience vote.

I am officially going to try to win that $25, tomorrow night.

I am going to figure out ways to make money, doing this. 
I also fully intend to keep getting to know my amazing girlfriend, Miss Butterfly Starfish.  And I'm having a blast getting to learn from her daughter, Dragonfly Snowflake.

And I am excited to get to know Butterfly's entire family, better and better. 

(and my family too, if we would ever take the sticks out of our butts)
The first time I became a full-time comedian, I started abandoning everyone who had helped me get to that point.

It was never anything "personal."  I still liked and loved all those people.  I just started...not paying attention to them.  I started not respecting their time.

I also got it in my head, that they were all living vicariously through me.  And that the best thing I could do for them would be to get as famous as I possibly could, so that they could all brag about it.

(I know this seems delusional and narcissistic.  It is, and I was)
For a good half-a-decade, I put strangers above the people closest to me -- family and friends -- just because I had to "follow my dream."

What I didn't see at the time, was that having a healthy and frequent relationship with my family was a part of the "dream" I was following.  Without that, even if I "achieved fame(!!)"

I was going to achieve it, expect my dad to be more impressed, expect everyone from high school to call and personally apologize for not dating me,

and then be disappointed that "fame" felt the same on the inside as "about to be famous maybe"
Louis CK is my competitor.  And that's a reality I have to deal with.  He has a heckuva head start.  He's already made millions.

Right now, I'm at $1048.
But I still say to please support him.  I think he is the Tiger Woods of stand-up right now. 

Here is what he said on Conan O'Brien last week.  I admire it.

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