a priori/a posteriori

Monday, August 1, 2016

Stuck on Level 23

I spent most of this past weekend playing a motorcycle video game. Something like 10 hours of playing it.

The Internet was supposed to lift us to the highest place in our human history. Somehow it's become a world full of adults with Gameboys in our pockets.

And if you're too young to get that reference, then please take this idea and tell it in your own words.
I'm a sucker for "Role Playing Games," or RPGs  for short. When my character can start at Level 1, and then the more I play, the more it grows...I get sucked into that world.

My life has been a lot like one of those games. But for some reason, I've gotten stuck on

Level 23.
If we're healthy, we level up every year.
Year 1, learn to walk. Level Up
Year 2, learn to talk. Level Up
Year 5, learn to read. Level Up

Year 10, Year 11, Year 12. Every year, we Level Up.
I leveled up, my whole life. Never missed one. Level 14, high school. Level 18, graduate. Level 22 (!), graduate from college.

Level 23: survive in the "real world"
After college, I figured I'd keep leveling up. Why wouldn't I?  I always had.

But then, something weird started happening: I was playing the same level, over and over.  I wasn't going any faster. Nothing was changing.

All of a sudden, it felt like I had no chance to beat ANY of the levels.

Level 25, have a career. But how can I pass Level 25 when all my stats are stuck on Level 23?

No Level Up.

Level 28, buy a home. (Are you CRAZY? I'm a Level 23 person over here! I can't even pay my rent on time)

No Level Up.

Level 30.
Level 31.
Level 35.

No Level Up.
And at some point, the game stops being fun. And so I check out. I go play an app on my phone. Because I can start at Level 1, and get that "Level Up Rush" I used to in the real world.

I think that's part of why I stopped performing. I recognized it as a distraction. I was getting better and better at comedy, but I wasn't getting any better at life. And that started to scare me.

There were other reasons, of course. The death of Robin Williams made me look in the mirror. There were a dozen different things that started to pull me out of the fog.
The truth is, I don't know what Level 24 looks like.
I don't know when I'll be welcomed into that club.

But it probably doesn't have a motorcycle app in it.
So I can start there.

And a job.
It probably has a job.

Does anyone know of any jobs out there?
I'm not perfect. But I have a good attitude, I'm funny sometimes, and

I'm ready to Level Up

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