I am starting to recognize the connection that what is exhausting is rewarding.
I am exhausted often. Not as often as Vanessa.
Once you have a child, the race is on to get your shit together before they notice.
I have a love for my son that I struggle to fully understand. His purity is giving me a perspective on life that I never knew existed. He is fearless. Except when someone knocks on the door. Or the dog barks. Or we fly too high when we're dancing to TV theme songs.
Part of me wants to keep his purity inside, and under wraps, for as long as possible.
But I think that's my fear. And I don't think that's the life he wants, or the life he deserves.
I know there are older kids in his neighborhood, and at his rec center, who will be influences on him. The more they see him grow, the more aware they become of how powerful they are. Even as a child, your example changes the lives around you.
I had a chance to work with kids, to coach, to play, to teach. It made me want to be a father. I had a kid who lived with me, and I got to see her victories, and hear her work through the challenges of high school. It made me want her to be an older sister. Her heart is a worthy pillar in the life of her brother.
I hope she finds ways to be active with children in her adult life. Because children will look up to her. And rightfully so.
I hope more kids grow up to be active in their communities. Because kids don't need role models. They just need witnesses. They need to see themselves as interesting, and evolving. They need to see that it really does matter that they keep trying instead of giving up. It changes the world of the younger kids around them -- but little kids don't realize it, and so they don't know to tell an older child.
That's all children need -- witnesses and cheerleaders.
Ten p.m.
Bedtime.
Big day tomorrow.
They're all big days, it turns out.
I am exhausted often. Not as often as Vanessa.
Once you have a child, the race is on to get your shit together before they notice.
I have a love for my son that I struggle to fully understand. His purity is giving me a perspective on life that I never knew existed. He is fearless. Except when someone knocks on the door. Or the dog barks. Or we fly too high when we're dancing to TV theme songs.
Part of me wants to keep his purity inside, and under wraps, for as long as possible.
But I think that's my fear. And I don't think that's the life he wants, or the life he deserves.
I know there are older kids in his neighborhood, and at his rec center, who will be influences on him. The more they see him grow, the more aware they become of how powerful they are. Even as a child, your example changes the lives around you.
I had a chance to work with kids, to coach, to play, to teach. It made me want to be a father. I had a kid who lived with me, and I got to see her victories, and hear her work through the challenges of high school. It made me want her to be an older sister. Her heart is a worthy pillar in the life of her brother.
I hope she finds ways to be active with children in her adult life. Because children will look up to her. And rightfully so.
I hope more kids grow up to be active in their communities. Because kids don't need role models. They just need witnesses. They need to see themselves as interesting, and evolving. They need to see that it really does matter that they keep trying instead of giving up. It changes the world of the younger kids around them -- but little kids don't realize it, and so they don't know to tell an older child.
That's all children need -- witnesses and cheerleaders.
Ten p.m.
Bedtime.
Big day tomorrow.
They're all big days, it turns out.
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