At 10:49 at night, I'm not totally sure why I'm writing.
This was my first Wednesday of the work year. It has been 5 days. It already feels like a lost year, somehow.
As I dragged myself out of bed, and downstairs to the office, Butterfly said,
"Just remember: As long as you're trying, you're doing."
_____
_____
I believe her.
I have a plan for tomorrow. Tomorrow is Day 6.
I've been invited to perform on a show here by Dan Ellison. He runs a terrific show at Cinema Cafe', every Thursday at 9, right along Independence Boulevard.
My set will be 5 minutes long. I will have to do a clean set.
I'm going to write out my set, and then run through it during the day tomorrow.
Butterfly will be at work, all day long tomorrow. So to make her life as good as I can, I'll run errands throughout the day. I'll do the dishes, the laundry, drop off the recycling and the landlords' mail. I'm going to email the Virginian Pilot, the Richmond Funny Bone, and the DC Improv about jobs. I'm going to follow up with my tutoring client.
It's 11:02 pm. If I work on this set until midnight, I should have a great framework for tomorrow.
One hour. The Warriors are up 27. I'm not missing anything.
_____
_____
1. I'm Bryson Turner, and my life is crazy.
2. I have a partner, Miss Butterfly Starfish, who supports me and
No, wait. I learned this lesson from Dragonfly last time. I can't just talk about Butterfly the whole time. It makes people sad that don't have someone.
1. Thank you for coming. Because you didn't have to. You could have said "Let's stay in."
2. If you're here, you're awesome. Because you're not on brysonturner.com right now.
3. I don't use Facebook. Or Instagram. I use the new one. Um...brysonturner.com
4. It's Thursday night. Which means no matter who you are, you don't care that much about your Friday.
5. Thursday is the best night for a show. Because it's still the week, but it's a weekend thing.
6. It's like eating dessert when you haven't finished dinner yet. But we're all adults. So if we want to, we can do that.
7. Butterfly has gone to work every day this week. 4 down, 1 to go. And Friday....Friday isn't so bad.
8. Friday is like...the cool-down lap of weekdays. None of us are at our desks at 4:45 on a Friday, locked in.
9. No, it's more like 2 pm on Wednesday, we start packing up to leave on Friday.
10. Some people hate Mondays. I think Wednesdays might be worse.
11. No. Mondays are the worst. They just are. There's no way to "spin" being the most-amount-of-days away from my next day off.
11a. And if you're the type of person who says, "Mondays aren't so bad! It's just how you look at 'em!!"
11b. you're the reason I hate Mondays.
___
12. Tuesdays aren't as bad. But Tuesdays aren't too...anything.
12a. I'm not even sure Tuesdays exist.
12b. Does anyone here remember anything that happened on Tuesday?
12c. I don't mean this Tuesday -- I mean any Tuesday. Ever.
12d. Like is Tuesday an actual day? Does it exist? Or does Monday just feel so much slower than the other days, we call the first half of it Monday, and the second half of it Tuesday.
12e. There might be only 6 days in a week. I'm not sure.
___
13. Wednesday. I never know how to feel on Wednesday. Do I complain? Or hope?
13a. Wednesday feels like I took a boat across the Atlantic Ocean, and I don't know if I'll ever see land again.
13b. It's also the "hump day." And probably I already said the funniest thing about Wednesday in the intro to this bit. So we can move on.
13c. Shift the "sensory deprivation" line back to Tuesday.
___
14. Thursday. Today. Yes.
14a. Thursday is a terrific day. Because it's almost Friday.
14b. That should be what it's called. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Almost-Friday, and Friday. That's the work-week.
14c. Thursday swings both ways. It can be a weekday, or a weekend-day. It's bi-daily-al.
14d. No other day is like that. You're out tonight; that just means you care more about your happiness than your boss.
14e. If you're out on a Wednesday, it means you care more about your happiness than your liver's.
___
15. Friday. Ohhhh, Friday. The greatest day.
15... Sometimes I feel like I'm showing up, just to pack up.
15...
15a. You wanna know how great Friday is? Jesus was nailed to a cross and Christians had to watch their savior crucified, and that was still a GOOD Friday.
15b. "Hey, I think people might remember this. Should we call it "Great Friday?"
15c. Thomas! Geez, a little tact.
15d. ....Good Friday. We'll go with Good, Friday.
___
16. Yeah, Friday is the best day. Or is it?
16a. Or does it just have the best PR man?
16b. Because somehow, Fridays get even more hype than Saturdays.
16c. There's no restaurant called TGIS.
16d. Friday is a weekday. A work day. It has the same amount of work hours as Monday!
16e. How have we been letting Friday bully the other days like this? It gets away with everything!
16f. And for what?
(I don't know. Write more)
___
17. Friday is the youngest of 5 children. It's the baby. Everyone thinks it's cute. But it didn't choose that.
17a. Monday is the oldest of 5 children. It always gets blamed, even though it didn't actually do anything, except...come first.
___
___
18. So just make sure you enjoy the show tonight, and enjoy your day tomorrow. And enjoy your weekend. And then I'm not going to tell you to "enjoy" your Monday. But just don't blame it. It's not Monday's fault. And then after Monday, y'know, have a great Wednesday. And then hopefully, we'll see you back here, next week.
19. Even though I might not be here. You'll still have a blast.
20. I'm Bryson Turner, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go update my status on brysonturner.com, which is going to make Facebook feel like Myspace.
21. BrysonTurner.com
22. It's 12:01 AM. That was a great 59 minutes of writing. And now I'm just killing time, until I can go upstairs and drink a calorie-laden milkshake, and then go to sleep next to Butterfly.
Boom.
This was my first Wednesday of the work year. It has been 5 days. It already feels like a lost year, somehow.
As I dragged myself out of bed, and downstairs to the office, Butterfly said,
"Just remember: As long as you're trying, you're doing."
_____
_____
I believe her.
I have a plan for tomorrow. Tomorrow is Day 6.
I've been invited to perform on a show here by Dan Ellison. He runs a terrific show at Cinema Cafe', every Thursday at 9, right along Independence Boulevard.
My set will be 5 minutes long. I will have to do a clean set.
I'm going to write out my set, and then run through it during the day tomorrow.
Butterfly will be at work, all day long tomorrow. So to make her life as good as I can, I'll run errands throughout the day. I'll do the dishes, the laundry, drop off the recycling and the landlords' mail. I'm going to email the Virginian Pilot, the Richmond Funny Bone, and the DC Improv about jobs. I'm going to follow up with my tutoring client.
It's 11:02 pm. If I work on this set until midnight, I should have a great framework for tomorrow.
One hour. The Warriors are up 27. I'm not missing anything.
_____
_____
1. I'm Bryson Turner, and my life is crazy.
2. I have a partner, Miss Butterfly Starfish, who supports me and
No, wait. I learned this lesson from Dragonfly last time. I can't just talk about Butterfly the whole time. It makes people sad that don't have someone.
1. Thank you for coming. Because you didn't have to. You could have said "Let's stay in."
2. If you're here, you're awesome. Because you're not on brysonturner.com right now.
3. I don't use Facebook. Or Instagram. I use the new one. Um...brysonturner.com
4. It's Thursday night. Which means no matter who you are, you don't care that much about your Friday.
5. Thursday is the best night for a show. Because it's still the week, but it's a weekend thing.
6. It's like eating dessert when you haven't finished dinner yet. But we're all adults. So if we want to, we can do that.
7. Butterfly has gone to work every day this week. 4 down, 1 to go. And Friday....Friday isn't so bad.
8. Friday is like...the cool-down lap of weekdays. None of us are at our desks at 4:45 on a Friday, locked in.
9. No, it's more like 2 pm on Wednesday, we start packing up to leave on Friday.
10. Some people hate Mondays. I think Wednesdays might be worse.
11. No. Mondays are the worst. They just are. There's no way to "spin" being the most-amount-of-days away from my next day off.
11a. And if you're the type of person who says, "Mondays aren't so bad! It's just how you look at 'em!!"
11b. you're the reason I hate Mondays.
___
12. Tuesdays aren't as bad. But Tuesdays aren't too...anything.
12a. I'm not even sure Tuesdays exist.
12b. Does anyone here remember anything that happened on Tuesday?
12c. I don't mean this Tuesday -- I mean any Tuesday. Ever.
12d. Like is Tuesday an actual day? Does it exist? Or does Monday just feel so much slower than the other days, we call the first half of it Monday, and the second half of it Tuesday.
12e. There might be only 6 days in a week. I'm not sure.
___
13. Wednesday. I never know how to feel on Wednesday. Do I complain? Or hope?
13a. Wednesday feels like I took a boat across the Atlantic Ocean, and I don't know if I'll ever see land again.
13b. It's also the "hump day." And probably I already said the funniest thing about Wednesday in the intro to this bit. So we can move on.
13c. Shift the "sensory deprivation" line back to Tuesday.
___
14. Thursday. Today. Yes.
14a. Thursday is a terrific day. Because it's almost Friday.
14b. That should be what it's called. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Almost-Friday, and Friday. That's the work-week.
14c. Thursday swings both ways. It can be a weekday, or a weekend-day. It's bi-daily-al.
14d. No other day is like that. You're out tonight; that just means you care more about your happiness than your boss.
14e. If you're out on a Wednesday, it means you care more about your happiness than your liver's.
___
15. Friday. Ohhhh, Friday. The greatest day.
15... Sometimes I feel like I'm showing up, just to pack up.
15...
15a. You wanna know how great Friday is? Jesus was nailed to a cross and Christians had to watch their savior crucified, and that was still a GOOD Friday.
15b. "Hey, I think people might remember this. Should we call it "Great Friday?"
15c. Thomas! Geez, a little tact.
15d. ....Good Friday. We'll go with Good, Friday.
___
16. Yeah, Friday is the best day. Or is it?
16a. Or does it just have the best PR man?
16b. Because somehow, Fridays get even more hype than Saturdays.
16c. There's no restaurant called TGIS.
16d. Friday is a weekday. A work day. It has the same amount of work hours as Monday!
16e. How have we been letting Friday bully the other days like this? It gets away with everything!
16f. And for what?
(I don't know. Write more)
___
17. Friday is the youngest of 5 children. It's the baby. Everyone thinks it's cute. But it didn't choose that.
17a. Monday is the oldest of 5 children. It always gets blamed, even though it didn't actually do anything, except...come first.
___
___
18. So just make sure you enjoy the show tonight, and enjoy your day tomorrow. And enjoy your weekend. And then I'm not going to tell you to "enjoy" your Monday. But just don't blame it. It's not Monday's fault. And then after Monday, y'know, have a great Wednesday. And then hopefully, we'll see you back here, next week.
19. Even though I might not be here. You'll still have a blast.
20. I'm Bryson Turner, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go update my status on brysonturner.com, which is going to make Facebook feel like Myspace.
21. BrysonTurner.com
22. It's 12:01 AM. That was a great 59 minutes of writing. And now I'm just killing time, until I can go upstairs and drink a calorie-laden milkshake, and then go to sleep next to Butterfly.
Boom.
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