The Most Important Pick in the History of the Cleveland Browns (Dear Damen)

So.  we have the number one pick.  What do we do now?
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I say we choose Vanessa Abbott.


Which I know sounds crazy.  She's not going to win us any games.


But she doesn't need to.


Stop listening to Kevin Hart


#Letmeexplain.
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My name is Bryson Turner.  I used to be a Steelers fan.


I grew up in Pittsburgh, and I worshipped everything black and gold.


My number 1 dude was always Barry Bonds.  There was a weird reaction to him leaving, back in 1992.  Maybe that "weird" reaction stuck with me, more than I realized.


I switched over to being a Browns fan in the-Packers-Steelers-Super-Bowl-year.


I tried to support Big Ben after his second rape situation, but it was just too much.


I don't care how many times Greg Gumbelnantz tells me the Rooneys are a mom-and-pop store that coincidentally happen to own a multi-billion-dollar, world-wide brand.


I don't care.  I don't care how "classy" they are.


I didn't like Roethlisberger, B.


And if they weren't going to cut him,
I was going to cut myself from the team.


Which I believe is called "quitting."


I was going to quit being a Steelers fan.


And so I have.


I'm a free agent.


Or.  Was...
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The Browns came calling in the form of "Jim Brown"


more on that tomorrow, maybe.


We'll see if this is interesting to Damen Camin,
the third-best comedian in Cleveland history.


And it's not close.