I have about 90 minutes, before I take a one-month hiatus from this website.
I don't expect to die during that one-month,
but if I do:
I enjoyed my entire life. I was overly-sheltered as a child, but I don't hold that against my parents. I got a late start to adulthood, but I have a good attitude. I would take that trade again.
I was a hipster for a while, there. I wanted to be a comedian. But almost all comedians are hipsters, it turns out. At least from what I knew of the industry in the early-to-mid 2010s, they were.
I don't actually know that. I just know that I was. And so I project.
_____
I avoided a lot of major adult responsibilities. I wish I hadn't. I think I would have been proud of every difficult step I took, as a grown up. Life insurance. Credit scores. Volunteering for Meals-on-Wheels.
When I died, (if I died), I was just realizing that after each difficult task, the next one got easier. And I got more and more confident.
There were moments when I had a really smooth jump shot.
I will always be proud of what I did with Mr. Morris, Sean Dreher, Ryan O'Malley, and all the amazing people at NATV.
I wish I would have been less judgmental of my friends on my high school basketball and volleyball teams. And I wish I would have gotten involved with the drama department. I thought I had to pick sports or performance. I had no idea how WIDE OPEN the world of high school is, if you just stop worrying about that thing called your "reputation."
I hope for as long as we mistakenly separate "humans" from other animals and other living things, we strive to be kinder to everything we see as the "others"
I hope whatever happens after I die, it helps fill the world with guttural, healing, cleansing laughter.
_____
I hope nobody ever remembers me, if that's what makes the world a better place. I'd rather be forgotten clean water than remembered pollution.
I hope somebody treats Vanessa like a queen, and I hope Dragonfly finds someone who would walk to the moon for her.
I hope Vanessa gets to paint and write, full-time. And do everything else she wants to try. Because everything she does, it ends up making the world better. She is humble, and beautiful, and brilliant. Like a Supernova Star. To be around her was to be charged like a battery.
I was proud of these past few years. I have struggled mightily, to get my life back on solid ground. Even if only a few people saw the progress, I am immensely proud of it. I could have quit, a few years ago. And I didn't. I decided to start the long, slow, embarrassing journey -- back toward adulthood.
I was still on the journey. There will be no parade for me. But I am still proud. My effort made a difference. The world is in a better place, than if I'd quit.
If I die during February, don't worry.
It probably means I knew I would.
So I packed a year into January.
You feel me?
I don't expect to die during that one-month,
but if I do:
I enjoyed my entire life. I was overly-sheltered as a child, but I don't hold that against my parents. I got a late start to adulthood, but I have a good attitude. I would take that trade again.
I was a hipster for a while, there. I wanted to be a comedian. But almost all comedians are hipsters, it turns out. At least from what I knew of the industry in the early-to-mid 2010s, they were.
I don't actually know that. I just know that I was. And so I project.
_____
I avoided a lot of major adult responsibilities. I wish I hadn't. I think I would have been proud of every difficult step I took, as a grown up. Life insurance. Credit scores. Volunteering for Meals-on-Wheels.
When I died, (if I died), I was just realizing that after each difficult task, the next one got easier. And I got more and more confident.
There were moments when I had a really smooth jump shot.
I will always be proud of what I did with Mr. Morris, Sean Dreher, Ryan O'Malley, and all the amazing people at NATV.
I wish I would have been less judgmental of my friends on my high school basketball and volleyball teams. And I wish I would have gotten involved with the drama department. I thought I had to pick sports or performance. I had no idea how WIDE OPEN the world of high school is, if you just stop worrying about that thing called your "reputation."
I hope for as long as we mistakenly separate "humans" from other animals and other living things, we strive to be kinder to everything we see as the "others"
I hope whatever happens after I die, it helps fill the world with guttural, healing, cleansing laughter.
_____
I hope nobody ever remembers me, if that's what makes the world a better place. I'd rather be forgotten clean water than remembered pollution.
I hope somebody treats Vanessa like a queen, and I hope Dragonfly finds someone who would walk to the moon for her.
I hope Vanessa gets to paint and write, full-time. And do everything else she wants to try. Because everything she does, it ends up making the world better. She is humble, and beautiful, and brilliant. Like a Supernova Star. To be around her was to be charged like a battery.
I was proud of these past few years. I have struggled mightily, to get my life back on solid ground. Even if only a few people saw the progress, I am immensely proud of it. I could have quit, a few years ago. And I didn't. I decided to start the long, slow, embarrassing journey -- back toward adulthood.
I was still on the journey. There will be no parade for me. But I am still proud. My effort made a difference. The world is in a better place, than if I'd quit.
If I die during February, don't worry.
It probably means I knew I would.
So I packed a year into January.
You feel me?
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