a priori/a posteriori

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

What I Want for my Birthday (Dear Brother Andrew)

Hey Andrew.

Maybe your first thought is, "Why did he write Brother Andrew?  We're cousins."

That's one thing you realize, when your dad dies. 

Cousins are brothers.
Always trust your own thoughts.  That's healthy.  But my view has changed, the past 6 weeks.

Your dad and my dad were brothers.  And still are brothers. 

I never really thought about it.  But now as an adult -- even a part-time one -- I realize how big a deal that is.

If my brothers have kids, those kids matter to me.  Because my brothers matter to me.  If I can help them, I will.

I'm realizing all of this after a decade of selfishness.  But I'm not worried about the past. 

Let me break down that decade, which you got to see up-close in Brooklyn:

5 years thinking I mattered more than everyone else combined. 
5 years feeling guilty for thinking that.

On and off, back and forth, I struggled for a decade.  Never just shutting up and getting a job.

It put a strain on my brothers, and a strain on my parents.  It's not a past I can change, but it is a future I can avoid.
That's why I'm asking you to take my request seriously.

I'm asking you for money.
You wished me a happy birthday last week, and I appreciated it.  Aunt Daphne is still on Facebook, and she said that 80-some people wrote some variation of "happy birthday" on my wall. 

I quit Facebook 3 years ago. 
I got 2 birthday texts.  You were one of them. 

That's why I think you may be willing to support my writing career.  Because you are making a real effort to connect.
Maybe me asking for money on here seems crazy.  But I don't think it is.

When I released my first special a few years ago, your brother bought it the week it came out.  It was available for free.  But he chose to send me a message:

"Hey dude.  I see you working hard.  I've been working hard, too.  Which is why I have some money.  And I want to give a little bit of my money to you.  Just so you know I see you."

I italicized the two keys.  Don't give me money, unless you see me putting in the work.  Unless you "see" the reason why this site is worth money.  Unless you see your world as a little more inspiring, because I'm somewhere out there, working my butt off.

And don't give me money unless you want to.  Unless you think about how much it would say, and how much it would mean, if you choose to.  Unless it literally makes you excited to think of the result of your kindness.

Unless you realize that when you give me $2, it feels like $2 billion.

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